


A Game Between Friends is Like a Duel to the Death (So Don't You Dare Take It Lightly, You Bastard!)

by JenovaVII



Category: Gintama
Genre: Aliens, Alley Sex, Awkward Sexual Situations, Banter, Bets, Bisexuality, Bonding, Canon-Typical Violence, Censorship, Consensual, Crack, Crossdressing, Crude Humor, Doujinshi, Drunk Sex, First Kiss, First Time, Fourth Wall, Frenemies, Friendship, Fuckbuddies, Humor, Love/Hate, M/M, Nonsense, Parody, Pop Culture, Randomness, Rivalry, Role Reversal, Romance, Rough Sex, Sadism, Safer Sex, Samurai, Sexual Tension, Switching, Transvestite, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Undercover, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unsafe Sex, Voice Acting, Voyeurism, Weirdness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-05-03
Updated: 2012-05-14
Packaged: 2017-11-04 18:39:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/396981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenovaVII/pseuds/JenovaVII
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gintoki and Hijikata finally come face to face with certain "feelings," aside from their established alliance strained by rivalry. Something that they were never keen on recognizing, much less going into.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Things I Never Said (Until Now) Should (Have) Remain(ed) That Way (For a Reason)

**Author's Note:**

> Finally. I've been wanting to write these two sexy idiots going at it since forever. Sorachi + Sugita + Nakai + Sunrise, I'm really, really (not) sorry for this massacre. This was supposed to be a giant oneshot but as new ideas keep jumping in I'm going for various chapters.

 

  
Hostess Bar 'Snack Smile'. Playing the Shogun-sama Game. Again.

 _Somehow_ _..._ _doesn_ _'_ _t_ _this_ _look_ _too_ _familiar_ _?_ _Haven_ _'_ _t_ _we_ _done_ _this_ _before_ _?_ _Hey_ _,_ _haven_ _'_ _t_ _we_ _done_ _this_ _in_ _another_ _life_ _?_

(Calm down, Gintoki, it wasn't 'in another life', it was just two or three years ago.)

 _And_ _?_ _Why_ _are_ _we_ _all_ _here_ _again_ _?_ _And_ _why_ _is_ _this_ _time_ _even_ _worse_ _than_ _the_ _last_ _?_ _Why_ _are_ _the_ _people_ _that_ _we_ _managed_ _to_ _avoid_ _last_ _time_ _here_ _,_ _as_ _well_ _?_ _Huuuhh_ _?_ , he asked wordlessly, glaring at where the Shinsengumi trio sat as if pointing with his eyes.

(Oh. Right.)

'Times is hard' and so Otae had _kindly_ _invited_ everyone over to spend their money while _delicately_ swaying her favorite naginata around.

(Yeah, the one she skewered Stefan with.)

And _yes_ , that _was_ the sole reason as to why all these characters were stuffed together in harmony (yeah, right, as if that could ever be possible) as they drank and groped and got slapped and laughed and screamed and sang (badly) and groped again and got punched in the nose - _-_ bleeding not only from perversion, but now from being hurt as well. And then got struck with an elbow for soaking the couch with red.

Actually... most of that was just Kondou.

Kyuubei's words were coming out slurred, her cheeks burning, from the Dom Peri and from having her face on Tae's bosom. She'd won against Kondou in some sort of contest they'd entered to 'see, once and for all, whom of them Tae-chan/Otae-san liked more' by reciting proofs of affection. The winner was decided when the Yagyuu heiress, embarrassed, spoke of the kiss she'd shared with Otae when they'd first re-encountered after so many years.

She now claimed her deserved prize, as the gorilla secreted countless droplets of tears and snot and blood, crying complaints at Hijikata's smoking figure.

A hole on the ceiling had two legs sticking out of it. Toujou's. Half-out of his mind, he still mumbled about Gothic Lolita outfits and young masters.

Across the room, two demons - _-_ one exuding a blue aura while the other a red one - _-_ battled without restraint.

Standing above the ruckus of broken tables and chairs. No one dared step into the eternal fight waving between Okita and Kagura, currently attempting to poke each other's eyeballs out with sticks (that were supposed to be used to draw the lots for the game).

Crossed insults of: "You sadist baasstard _!_ " and death threats like: "Tch. Die, China.", their own original sound track.

Shinpachi was singing Otsuu-chan's songs by himself in the corner, on the karaoke, when Sa-chan flew through the closed window. Breaking the glass with a shuriken, Gintoki's name on her lips in the same orgasmic voice she always put on when screaming her obsession's name to the whole World.

Her perfect landing was impeded by Gintoki himself, when he grabbed the other end of the whip she came bearing and tied her up with it. Ignoring her: "No, Gin-san, don't be so rough... _Aaahh_ _...!_ Yes, _yes_ , _more_ , mess me up, _Gin_ _-_ _saaan_ ", he tugged her by a handful of lilac strands and tossed her through the door, ass getting stuck in the trash container, to be taken away by the waste collectors anytime soon now.

Rubbing his hands in distaste, he returned to his seat.

By that time, only Gintoki, Hijikata, Okita and the half-dressed Shogun remained playing.

"So? Why are we doing this again?"

"Shut your trap, asshole, you know it was your fault. Or has your silver perm corrupted your memory?"

"Oi _!_ I don't wanna hear some freak who uses mayo-shampoo to keep his hair all oily talkin' trash about Gin-san's beloved curls _!_ "

"I order number three to kiss number seven.", said the real Shogun who got the stick with 'fake Shogun' kanji scribbled on it.

"..."

"..."

" _Nonononononono_ _!_ I refuse _!_ " Instant refusal; Gintoki's arms crossed in an X gesture.

"Sunrise already makes use of us like sex-symbols and gives out more than enough fan service as it is. Sorachi-kun's already went as far as making me have a drunken affair with _Hasegawa_ _-_ _san_. I don't need any more of this shit." Swiped Hijikata with a disgusted look. "And with Oogushi-kun here? Not even if he were secretly a woman." Picked his nose and threw a booger at Hijikata, which is swiftly dodged with a snarl.

" _Aa_? _!_ What's that supposed to mean, you bastard? You sayin' I'm not good enough for you, is that it? You can * _piii_ * that rotten Madao in a toilet cubicle but refuse wholeheartedly to merely press lips with _me_ - _-_ who has payed for I-don't-even-know-how-many of your disgusting parfaits? _!_ "

Gintoki gritted his teeth. "Hijikata-kun, Hijikata-kun, calm down ~ The way you're sayin' it sounds like you actually want such disaster you occur, hahaha.", the forced laugh sounded bad even to his own ears.

"I don't fucking care, dipshit. The Shogun's orders are absolute, get it? We've been through worse, you and I. As a matter of fact, each time you show up it's sure to be Hell. Kissing _you_ won't be any different from crossing swords. Lets just get this crap over with. _Before_ he _takes_ off _his_ briefs _again_."

"Hell, no. What kinda reasoning's that, anyway?" And indicator penetrated his appendage. Ear-picking. Gintoki cleaned the digit on Gori-san's uniform (which was curiously missing the body that _should_ be underneath it). Then he turned to Shige Shige, "I said already I ain't swapping saliva with Oni no Fukuchou-sama, so choose someone else, Sho-chan yo ~ "

The Shogun's topknot wanted to whimper in disappointment. Who knew Shogun-sama was a yaoi fan boy?

"Then, would you be okay with me, Danna?" Okita grinned. A hand gripping his jacket, scrunching the fabric. If one followed the arm they who see it lead up to Kagura's form, fallen asleep between Okita and Gintoki.

It was cute, really, the way they interacted, always trying to kill the other off. And still, when out of it, like she was now, wouldn't let the other go. Whoever gave up first, it was their loss.

Gintoki was sure it had to hurt, though, pretty damn bad even. Okita would have a massive bruise where the Yato held his wrist.

"Eh...? If it's Okita-kun then it's fine, I guess. How about it, Crapped-On-So-Many-Times-Therefore-No-Longer-White-Briefs-sama?"

"Wait a fucking minute _!_ This is a matter of pride now _!_ This is personal, ain't it, you shit? You don't give a fuck if it's a guy or a woman - _-_ I _knew_ you were a heathen - _-_ you just don't like _me_. Well, let me tell you: the hatred is fucking mutual. But you know what? Though luck, Yorozuya." A sharp smirk crossed Hijikata's features before he was throwing himself across the table, grabbing the collar of Gintoki's black shirt and forcing their mouths to clash in such a brutal way that it would surely leave bruises in its wake.

The freelancer was already buzzed and sluggish and not on guard against an attack, not expecting anyone in the room to be a thread to his life. He knew he was as good as safe from being Okita's sole target when Hijikata in close vicinity, even though the little bastard did enjoy coming up with ways to put them through hell together. But, even so, usually it's him and the kid against the demonic brunet so really, he wasn't ready for the change in atmosphere.

Gintoki told himself that was the reason for not having evaded the attack.

What was a short moment for others, was for then far longer than necessary. Letting go of the cloth in his grip, Hijikata stalked away without a word, porting a blank expression as naturally as a sword, and leaving Gintoki to deal with the myriad of reactions the circle of spectators would explode into.

Fortunately, the whole lot was too dazed already by the drinks they'd been chugging down all night to react too strongly (except Okita, who was making a near-perfect impression of the Cheshire Cat; and the Shogun, who looked quite pleased with himself). But, even if the case was that they weren't under the strong effect of alcohol, most of them had already been expecting (and anxiously looking forward for) the unresolved sexual tension between the two to finally take its toll. In secret, bets had been made, about who'd make the first move and when.

Just then, Matsudaira Totsan entered the place, guns blazing, voice rumbling - _-_ like the God of Destruction he is. Had to be home in time to kiss his daughter goodnight, he said, even though he'd been playing around all night and it was dawn, close to morning already. Was gone as quickly as he'd came and dragging the naked Shogun and the deranged new (and still stain-free) underwear he'd bought home.

After that Tae fed Gori-san some burnt eggs when he asked for the thousandth time to spend the night together. He spent the night with the toilet seat instead.

One by one - _-_ some rolling, some leaning on something or someone, some still properly walking - _-_ everybody called it a night, said their goodbyes and started strolling home.

Everyone but one person; who didn't go home but turned the exact opposite way.

*

Hijikata sat in a bench, cruelly teasing passerby animals by pretending to offer them food - _-_ namely mayonnaise, the nectar of the Gods - _-_ and then (fortunately) denying them of it.

Gintoki sat down by his side, occupying the other end of the bench. "You should really stop doing that. You're just makin' more enemies. Talking from experience here." _Experience_ _from_ _the_ _animal_ _'_ _s_ _perspective_ _though_ _._

But Hijikata had no need to know details and Gintoki wouldn't be the one to tell him anyway. Though it wouldn't have been surprising if Kondou had shared his experience with his dear Toshi, Gintoki doubted the chain-smoker had believed it. Kondou is already a gorilla, after all, so the telling of such an unbelievable story would be shaken off as day-dreaming or being delusional due to brain-damage caused by Otae's constant episodes of domestic/street violence. Also, all said and done, Hijikata was still the most rational member of the Shinsengumi.

There was still no answer from the dark-olive head, and Gintoki has fun ignoring others but not at all when being ignored himself. "Oi."

Nothing.

"I said: _Oi_ _._ "

"'The fuck do you want, you sugar freak?", he finally drawls, practically hissing with venom; already exasperated by the other's presence, by his mere voice.

After popping a lollipop into his mouth, Gintoki sighed and bent his arms behind his head, relaxing back onto the wood. "You know, _you_ were the one who pulled that shit on me. _I_ should be the one mad over it. Instead, you're sulking over here, spreading non-divine punishment upon every living thing that comes your way."

He could feel Hijikata's body tensing. The slightest hint of that cigarette-bearing set of lips twitching in a badly masked grimace. "So I'm aware. _Just_ _forget_ _it_."

"Hmm ~ ", Gintoki hummed. "Don't think so. And neither do you, by the look of it."

Now _that_ gained him a glare. _The_ glare, characteristic of the Police force's Demon Vice-Commander. Normally Gintoki would be indifferent to it, or maybe piqued by it to start a fight - _-_ if the day wasn't too hot and if it wasn't time yet for his Onnyouji Goddess' weather report. This time, however, not only was he excited for the brawl that would, without a shade of doubt, come to be if he continued to pick on Hijikata's nerves (while he should already be diving into the couch and turning on the Oedo TV channel to the re-runs of Hanano Ana's idiotic interviews, fully equipped with a carton of strawberry milk), but also for something else entirely.

Well... maybe not _entirely_ different, being the two of them the kind of men they were. He licked his lips.

"I don't fucking know and I don't fucking care to understand where the fuck you're going with that."

 _Always_ _such_ _a_ _dirty_ _mouth_ _._

Gintoki just looked at him with those infuriating red, dead-fish eyes. And _oh_ , did those eyes piss him off... That look got under Hijikata's skin deeper and faster than anything - more than _Sougo_ ; more than messing with his mayonnaise, or with his tobacco; even more than messing with Kondou-san. "If you have nothing useful to say just fuck off. I've no patience to deal with your dumbassery, today of all days."

To his credit, the fellow samurai didn't look intimidated or fazed in the least by his declaration.

"Really, now?"

Hijikata internally startled when he sensed the other's muscles shifting as if preparing to move in for the kill. His hand flew to the hilt of his katana. Voice calm and low, he spoke, his eyes shadowed by his bangs, "Don't - come - any - closer."

The white-haired man continued as if nothing had been said - _-_ as if the clear warning hadn't been uttered - _-_ and resumed his motion to stand up. He patted the dust off of his behind and yawned before fixing his gaze sideways at the other male, who still had his guard up. The always bored tone spilled out, "What's got your panties in a knot, man? 'That time of the month, _Toshi_ -ch - _-_ ?"

Dark-blue orbs seem to pierce through him as if in place of its owner's blade. "I'll kill you, fucker."

Hijikata was on him before he had even let the mocking honorific out. His sword colliding with the wood of Gintoki's bokutou.

 


	2. Lying is (Not) the Most Fun a Boy Can Have Without Taking His Clothes Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: For those who still have doubts: yes, this will be both GinHiji and HijiGin. I have a major passion/obsession for reversible/switching gay couples so most of my BL fan fictions already contain/will contain role-reversal, either explicitly or implicitly (at least in the pieces where the boys have opportunity to do it more than once).

The distinct clack of metal on wood. The hasty shuffling of boots and shoes in perfected foot work. Some carton box being kicked out of the way, ending up on the other side of the road. Hijikata's blade scant millimeters from the hollow of Gintoki's throat, both pairs of arms bent, forcing their way forward, pushing ahead, pushing away. Muscles thrumming with the exertion.

With a turn to the left, Gintoki changed the angle and succeeded in distancing himself from the enraged brunet.

He lowered his weapon, yet never let his guard down, never looking away from Hijikata, who still maintained a fighting stance.

A sigh left his lips. "Whoa, careful there. Gin-san's just a bit tipsy. Not at the best of my abilities at the moment. Please try again later.", Gintoki snickered, playful.

No more than a few seconds of interval between a second attack lashed out.

" _Shi_ - _-_ _!_ What's your fucking problem, bastard, do you really wanna do this _now_? 'Cause I'm tellin' you... this could get pretty damn dangerous."

Dodging to his right, the end of a single silver strand cut fluttering through the air. A click of the tongue from Hijikata's direction.  
  
"Ha _!_ Dangerous for _whom_?", Hijikata practically snarled, his lip twitching up in anything but humor. Still on a roll, striking from the flanks, uselessly; still getting deflected. The bastard kept on defending, not once taking the offensive.

Gintoki's lazy-yet-sharp-as-hell of a tongue didn't miss the timing of its biting line, though. "For you, of course." _For us both, of course._

Hijikata's retort came with no hesitation, as always. Never in battle. "Do I look like I fucking _care_ ?"

The man looked murderous, no surprises there. Body itching for a fight that he wasn't getting, that he _knew_ he wouldn't get, but still looking for it, pushing for it - _-_ for a release to the tension; to use up all the fuel until the fire of rage extinguished for lack of sustain. Unfortunately, the eternally broke, useless bum in front of him was both to him _-_ \- fuel _and_ fire - _-_ and as it kept on going it was just like Hijikata was willingly trowing the first at the second, spreading the flames himself.

Gintoki pondered for a moment, observing as the other lost himself in his own thoughts. Then lowered his bouken (risky, he knew; might very well lose his head in less than a second, he knew; but Hijikata has honor, he also knew), let his head pend to one side, his long less-curly-and-actually-almost-kind-of-straight bangs swaying lightly, covering just one eye (for dramatic effect). He threw as lop-sided grin at Hijikata.

The action only served to make Hijikata erupt in fury, magma pumping up the chimney, ready to overflow and burn, spread and burn everything in its wake. _The little shit's fucking sure that's his irresistible look, huh. If that mug's endearing to women then I'm fucking_ Santa - _-_ No _, I'm not_ fucking _Santa as in_ 'fucking the' _Santa,_ stupid reader _!_

Hijikata thought that had been the last straw. But oh boy, was he wrong. Because then, the annoying bastard _spoke_.

"You look like you care for a fuck."

...And it all went downhill from there.

*  
  
A soft thud as Okita dropped Kagura in her closet at the Yorozuya.

"Nnn... Gin-chan...?" The snot-bubble springing from inside her nose expanding and contracting as she talked.

"The Boss'll be late, China, get to sleep so I can kill you in your nightmares.", Okita said, a wicked grin brushing the curve of his mouth that Kagura couldn't see with eyes shut.

The red-head rolled over, laying on her stomach. The nasty-colored bubble somehow still afloat after surviving being rubbed raw into the pillow. More drowning into the pillow than not herself, Kagura's mumbling words were barely recognizable. "What are you, Freddy, aru ka? Are you Freddy, you bastard? You've been Freddy all this time, aru ka?"

A snicker. "I'll be whatever ya want but my one sword gets the work done better than that collection of blades-in-a-glove of his."

"I bet it get rustier faster, too, aru."

"Tch. Drop dead, precocious bitch. Kill ya tomorrow." The door slid closed.

"Same to you, aru."

There was some scratching and rustling about (that maybe sounded like chains and locks being added somewhere, somewhere really close by, like right on the other side of the door) but sleep claimed her sukonbu-filled mind and, in an instant, Kagura was out.

*

A blunt noise. A blunt sequence of quite distinguishable noises. Swords colliding with the cold, hard ground, with the dirt, their shoes shuffling as they staggered and moved in a rush, hands groping.

Hijikata pushed Gintoki against the wall.

They kissed, battling for nothing but the upper hand. The scent and taste of alcohol was strong, _too fucking strong_ and Hijikata muttered in disgust against Gintoki's lips about useless piss-pots and their stinking breath. On his own bottom lip twinged in sharp sensation. It took him a second to realize it was pain and that there were teeth nipping at it. Hard. Only then did he silence a wince and pulled away.

Gintoki licked the blood with a swipe of tongue. "Tch. Not sweet at all..."

"Baaastard..."

Hijikata's digits dug into curly locks and pulled forward, until both men were practically breathing the same molecules of oxygen. "Face the wall.", he almost whispered.

Gintoki grinned. Midnight-blue eyes narrowed. _The bastard thinks he's won the round._

Gintoki was complying but Hijikata violently rushed him anyway. Teeth attached to Gintoki's shoulder, biting a groan out of him.

That voice that always drawled deep and lazy, like a sloth, did things to his body that Hijikata burned in repulse to think about. He trusted his will power, forcing his mind to shut down, to not let any logical thoughts peek out and mess around for the duration of what they were about to do. It was nothing that needed rationalizing. Nothing at all.

Gintoki's kimono pushed up; pants and pink, strawberry-patterned briefs down with unusually clumsy and trembling hands that are never anything but steady in battle. He felt Gintoki's own palm creeping up to fondle at his crotch, blindly reaching for his fly. Once unzipped, he took his traitorous hard member out himself, scowling at the cold air on his warm flesh.

Chest against back, up against the wall, every finger clawing the former Shiroyasha's butt cheeks apart. They both pushed against each other. It was dry and uncomfortable and painful and weird but they were hard, so hard it _hurt_ , and they couldn't stop - _-_ they didn't _want_ to stop (and _that_ was the worst of all).

Hijikata was still mutilating the firm skin with white, sharp teeth without concern, as Gintoki tortured one of his own fists in the same fashion, metallic-red droplets pooling between flesh and knuckle bone.

They might have been stupidly doing nasty things in public (which made Gintoki snicker between grunts and rasp out: _"Hey, officer, isn't this against the law? What if we get caught, what would your precious Gori-mmander have to say about it, uh?"_ over his shoulder and get a fist around his engorged length, tight - _-_ _too_ tight. Hurt, hurt like fuck, and they were cursing each other intelligibly, but probably something like: _"Just go die already, asshole."_ because Gintoki could not _not_ tighten his muscles in reflex), but even so it was night time, pit darkness all around; an almost burnt bulb blinking randomly on the street lamp a dozen feet, on the other side of the street. They would have to be 'Friday-The-Thirteenth'-unlucky for someone to come to take a piss on the same filthy alley they were currently using as a motel room.

Hijikata frowned when at that exact moment he caught the rush of a shadow just to find a sinewy, black cat with a blue ribbon around his neck jumping from the trash to the windowsill of the building. Seriously? As if this wasn't creepy enough already? Now for the cherry (strawberry?) on top of the cake (parfait?) the only thing missing is - _-_

A loud clack sounded behind them and both screamed with the best high-pitched tones Sugita and Nakai are capable of.  
  
" **J-Jason?** _ **!**_ **"**

Shit. How is it that they always think the same things, go to the same places, do the same stuff. Even the most ridiculous thoughts are the same.

"W-What was that? Ahahahah, don't t-tell me you're afraid of the d-dark, Hijikata-kuuuun ~ ?"

"S-Shut up _!_ And whose name were you calling just now, you shitty perm? Have a little tact _!_ But I guess that's impossible for someone like you, uh."

"Aaa, what was that? Weren't you callin' it too? You adulterer, calling out another man's name in bed even though we're not technically in a bed _!_ "

Their whispering blew like a breeze of wind. Nevertheless, they didn't want to make even the slightest noise. As if it was an unspoken understanding that whoever let out a sound of enjoyment would lose, not only this fight but the whole war they had been wrecking from Day One. That and the audio stimulation would make _this_ - _-_ whatever this unfortunate casualty was - _-_ even more real.

Gintoki was pretty sure he'd wake up the following day with _The_ hangover of the century and have flashes of what happened the night before and be able to successfully pass it all for a bad dream, with the ready excuse of being all fault of those BL drama CDs that had been playing on the radio lately, during his lonely, insomniac nights. He'd also rationalize that his sub-conscious choice of Hijikata as his partner simply for being one of the (many) good looking guys with whom he interacts on a fairly daily basis. And, if Gin-san ever batted for the other team - _-_ which he _doesn't_ - _-_ he'd have good taste appearance-wise and go for the hot ones. Guys are all about physical, after all. It didn't matter that Hijikata is also his rival-slash-nemesis-at-first-sight as well as comrade-and-friend-in-denial and gets on his nerves the most. _Of course_ it doesn't.

While Hijikata switched off his thought process and treated their, ugh... sexual encounter... as an unconscious action to obtain release of the tension that had been building up between them ever since chapter fiv - _-_

 _It was on chapter six, dumbass, at least have respect for the JUMP, the_ JUMP _! You just want make it seem like you showed up a chapter earlier, don't you? Well, if you weren't a dog of the Bakuf_ - _-_

 _Be quiet! And don't talk_ - _-_ _think?_ - _\- to me as if we have some sort of telepathic powers, you damn creep! Get outta my head!_

- _-_ ever since chapter _six_ , and only tonight finally (even if not verbally and out loud to each other) acknowledged.

Gintoki tried to think and think and fought with himself to not stop thinking, even if he started going bald (again, and really, it had _not_ been a good experience, even if it had served as a sort-of-collective-exercise with Kagura and Patsuan). While he went through dozens of scenarios and theories he wouldn't get totally absorbed by the act and be able to stay above it, think nothing of it. And he really wished he had one or four chocolate parfaits right now, just to help take his mind out of it...

But even with as much random ideas as he came up with, the feeling stubbornly accumulating just above his groin liked being ignored as much as Gintoki himself. Somewhere in the middle, it got slippery, slick with Hijikata pre-come, their movements becoming smoother. The solid belt against his ass put the image of Hijikata's front - _-_ Hijikata's face - _-_ sweating, hair no longer perfectly combed ( _Serves you right, heh._ ).

Gintoki was already seeing it: Hijikata in his immaculate Shinsegumi uniform, completely dressed but for his cock, currently buried hip-deep inside Gintoki's body... He couldn't take it anymore - _-_ Fuck _thinking._ - _-_ and handled his own dripping erection, stroking it long and fast as he impaled himself back on Hijikata, awkwardly, roughly.

Killing the permed bastard was no longer enough. Torturing him until he started suffering from sweets-withdrawal, slowly, until Gintoki went (even more) nuts. _That_ would cause him far more suffering than a swift death. As much as he deserved. Who did he think he was, twisting around and thrusting against Hijikata like that, making him feel better than he had ever felt with his hand; better than any woman had ever made him feel. He wanted to rip his jugular open and let him choke in the sea of his own high-sugar-level blood. On second thought, no. The fucking pervert would _enjoy_ that - _-_ having a last long taste of candy before the Afterlife Arc started next week.

His nails and fingers drew sick-looking bruises on hips as strong as his own. He looked down. Shouldn't have. One of his hands traveled up to the low of Gintoki's back. It caused the light-haired male to shiver and Hijikata to press into him harder, fast thrusts that made Gintoki's black-cladded knees bump into the wall, getting scrapped with each rocking motion.

Gintoki was coming. He was coming and couldn't control himself, not with the mind-blowing release Hijikata was pounding from him.

The raven didn't so much care about having ended up crying out something (which must have sounded like an erotic version of his battle cry) that left his throat feeling raw as he spilled himself inside, seeing as he hadn't been the only one running off his mouth. Gintoki has always been a loud-mouthed fucker and didn't disappoint.

*

The first time they came across each other on the street after 'The-Event-That-Shall-Never-Be-Brought-In-Conversation' (which took place, unsurprisingly, in the following episo _-_ \- in the following _day_ ) went kind of like this:

Hijikata had been doing the patrolling around the area when he spotted the recognizable snow-ball on top of the other's head as he was leaving the hardware store, turned and started coming his way. He sure as hell wasn't about to change his course just to avoid an encounter with the other man.

Gintoki had been trading insults with the old man Gengai even as he distanced himself from the inventor's work place. He finally looked ahead, just taking notice of Hijikata when they were about to slide pass each other.

"Bastard. If I get an STD, I'll kill you.", Hijikata half-cursed, expression devoid of the irritation his hot-tempered nature usually couldn't prevent.

Their sleeves brushed.

"That's my line. It was the first time Gin-san's ever engaged in unprotected sex, you know? You do realize you've robbed a virgin maiden of his innocence. Add that to the handful of violations you'd already committed that night. Jeez man, what kinda corrupt cop are you?", Gintoki snorted.

They didn't stop walking.

"Who's a virgin _and_ a maiden _and_ innocent? Did the heat of the moment mess up your already screwed-up brain?" Cigarette snatched from his lips to the ground, Hijikata extinguished it with a dragged tap of the shoe.

"Maa, but it really was a moment of heat wasn't it? Gin-san even had to come and get his fan fixed. It's a pity that I can't stay longer for Oogushi-kun to cool me down but I have a pair of glasses and a monster-girl waiting for me."

Without looking back, Gintoki held a hand up in a 'see ya' gesture.

Hijikata found out that it was easier and ( _juuust_ a little) less of a chore to talk with the bastard after having fucked him.

Shouldn't have tried so hard to avoid the unavoidable if _this_ - _-_ a surprisingly more favorable situation - _-_ was what it would come to.

 


End file.
